The Chair in the Corner

I’m sitting in your favorite chair

The latest version at least

In the same corner all the others have been

In the same corner I watched your hair turn grey.

I’ve sat here every time I’ve come

Trying to absorb the lingering memories

The laughs, the yells, the conversations in

Tagalog that were too fast for me to understand or the Visaya I couldn’t understand anyway.

Maybe I always sit here first or

Maybe I don’t want anyone else in the corner I’ve claimed as my own

The corner where I cry to myself as conversations go awry and circle back around me.

In this chair, I can see the spot between the kitchen and living room where I cried after the paramedics relieved me of CPR duty.

I can see the stairs where I sat after returning from the hospital without you.

I can see why you always sat in this chair, a matriarch’s throne, with a full view of the family.

In this chair

I remember you

I honor you

In this corner

I understand

And cry

And smile

And watch

And talk

And love.

And miss you, Lola. More than any words can express. 💜